How to deal with your fears so they don’t stop you?

I know so many incredibly talented people and when they don’t follow their heart, it’s always due to one reason: Fear. It can move or paralyse us. How to deal with your fears so they don’t stop you?

Over the last weeks I’ve gone through different fears myself. I’m introducing changes in my business, I’m letting go of side projects that helped me financially through this year. I feel it’s my moment to focus completely on Little healthy habits and share my wellbeing insights with the world. It’s exciting but frightening at moments, I won’t lie. So I’ve “felt into these fears”, embraced them, I’ve done a lot of journaling and reflected on my current process a well as the one I went through when I took my sabbatical in January 2023 or when I initially started my business last year. And I’ve realized that the following steps really help me to accept my fears and move forward:

1. Breathe deeply
   When I feel the fear expanding in my body, tingling through my arms and feet, moving through my chest, increasing my level of cortisol and adrenaline (the stress hormones) and making my heart beat faster – I try to pause for a moment and take a deep inhalation and an even deeper exhalation. The longer exhalation activates our parasympathetic (relaxing) nervous system so this helps me to find a moment of calmness. When I feel very agitated, I take several breaths, at least 3 or 4 , with closed eyes. The moment you feel your heart rhythm and breathing slowing down, you know you’ve managed to enter into the “negative feedback loop” where your body has realized the threat is not imminent, the cortisol level decreases and your whole system calms down.
   In case you need another/additional tool, this article might help: https://littlehealthyhabits.com/how-to-calm-your-nerves-through-a-power-pose/
   
   
2. Ask yourself: What exactly do I fear?
   When we feel stress and fears, it’s important to express what we feel exactly, to “get it out of the system”. What thoughts are in your head? What’s the name of the fear you are feeling? What exactly are you afraid of? It helps me a lot write down my thoughts, to reflect on the fear. An alternative to writing down your thoughts can be to share them with someone else. Sharing our fears is a beautiful way to calm down. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a rational fear or not – actually most of our fears are completely irrational but they are all natural because we are human beings.
   
   
3. Accept that you are human and fears are part of it
   Reflecting, expressing, sharing (on paper or by talking to someone) our fears, usually lead to an amazing outcome: Acceptance. We are human beings. We all have fears. Your fears don’t have to make sense to anyone, not even yourself. They are in your mind and body. They are natural and totally OK. They also make you alive. Let’s accept that they are part of our lives, they help us to watch out and find ways to cope with them, to cope with life.
   
   
4. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
   Once we have calmed our mind & body through reflection and acceptance, I love to go into the “worst case scenario”: What would happen if my fear comes true? And I “play out” the whole scenario in my mind: And if this situation happens, what’s the next thing that would happen? And if this happens, what’s the consequence? I love to go deeply into this, to really imagine all the moments of fears and frustrations … and personally it always leads me to 2 possible outcomes: 1. I have to ask for help or 2. I have to adapt my idea / approach. In my case, both are options I’m happy with. When we try something different, when we take a new step, when we go out into the world with a new idea – it’s necessary to stay open to adapt along the way – and it’s crucial to learn to ask for help. Ken Honda describes in his book “Happy Money” in a very refreshing way, that if we have a network of a few people who we can ask for help, there is nothing to fear.
   
   
5. Moving forward
   Once I have my worst case scenarios ready and confirmed again, that I have the mindset to adapt or the resources/group of people to help in the case my fears do become reality, I decide to move forward. How Ken Honda says: “Whatever we fear usually doesn’t become reality, and yet we waste so much of our energy on worrying. It’s such a waste of our time, talents, and potential.” I personally do like to reflect on my fears but then it’s important to start moving. Movement – despite our fears – is what makes us feel alive and we only have one life to live. And what if we everything works out amazing or even better? Let’s not forget the very likely scenario that – with determination, the necessary focus and dedication – our ideas, dreams, and visions can come true. They actually do.