How to spend time with yourself, and why?

A few years ago I struggled to spend time with myself, I thought I always needed social interaction. Today I plan my “me-time” slots and days to be in the moment, reflect and recharge. In this article I share my personal tips how to spend time with yourself, and why it’s so beneficial.

A little reflection
The majority of us talks to other people about our life quite frequently. We gather with friends or family and talk about work or family or a current situation or problem we face, the things we want to change or achieve etc. How often do you “talk to yourself”? How often do you listen to your own thoughts? 

Why it’s so beneficial
Did you know that we have up to 60.000 thoughts every day and the majority of them are negative? Our mind is made to produce thoughts, it’s extremely quick so our thoughts come in and out with a high speed. The good news: There are ways to slow them down, at least a bit. With introspection and listening very closely to our thoughts, we can learn to deal with them, address them, accept them. For that, we need time with ourselves, to hear those thoughts, to become aware of them. Planning these moments for yourself (I’m talking about chosen “alone time” here, not loneliness or feeling isolated from society), can help you to rewire your brain, to focus on the good things, to think more positively. For the ones who are not used to this, it might be weird at first, I know, especially when you try to stay away from electronic devices. “No phone? No TV? What should I do with myself?” you might ask. Well there are countless ways to spend quality time with yourself, be in the moment and help your mind and body to process all the experiences and learnings you have every day. Here are some ideas, which can of course all be combined:

1. Enjoy being bored, to have nothing planned, nothing on your to do list, nowhere to be. Soak up that energy of boredom of (maybe) not knowing what to do with that “me-time” you have given yourself. Don’t worry. Just let your thoughts fly around and just be. Be there in this moment. Don’t find a task. Don’t do anything “useful” like cleaning or tidying up. Please try it at least once or twice. Give yourself the space to be bored and you will see (I promise!!!) you will have a great idea! Suddenly your mind will have space to think about things you usually don’t have time for. Maybe you are suddenly reminded of an activity or passion you haven’t done in a long time, something you really crave. Boredom is necessary to let our brain fully recharge, it helps us to be more creative and productive during our working slots (More insights: https://littlehealthyhabits.com/how-to-concentrate-better-and-avoid-distractions/)
   
   
2. Practice self-love and self-care, something that makes you feel really good eg. How about taking time for a little beauty routine? That book you have been wanting to read in your holidays? A self-massage of your hands and feet, applying lotion to your body? Lighting some candles and smelling them? Listening to a song you love and hum with it? Hugging yourself? A little gratitude practice listing all the beautiful things of your life? Writing down positive affirmations on little notes and placing them in different spots to find them the next day and make yourself smile? Getting up a bit earlier to have more time to float into the day without rush, to give your body time to wake up? A yoga practice or walk in the morning? Whatever you choose: It’s your moment, to show yourself how much you care and value yourself. 
   
   
3. Practice a hobby or passion you truly enjoy and haven’t gotten around to lately. We often don’t give our creativity enough time between our usual routine, the days go by, and suddenly we realize we love to craft, draw, paint, sew, knit, create, design, build, amend, dance, play music, read, write, take photos, practice sport, connect with nature.
   
   
4. Take yourself on a nice date or plan an activity for yourself. How about preparing yourself an amazing meal or taking yourself to that favourite restaurant of yours? Are you a fan of concerts, special coffee shops or exhibitions? Do you like to spend time in nature? What about this trip you’ve always wanted to do?
   Don’t get me wrong: All these activities are beautiful, when shared. But often, with others, we focus on them and the conversation. When we are by ourselves, we focus on the experience. I’m just saying: Give it a try.
   From my personal experience: I love to meet friends but on some days I truly enjoy to go to the coffee shop by myself, focus on the walk and the food, the flavours (More insights: https://littlehealthyhabits.com/eat-healthy-and-in-silence/), the surroundings, and then I might read for a while. I’ve done different solo trips and they’ve helped me to get to know myself, look closer at my fears, needs and follow my routines.
   
   
5. Reflect on your current day or week: How do you feel? What sensations do you have in your body? What emotions do you notice? What happened this week, yesterday or today that you keep thinking about? Who do you think about the most currently? What situation keeps coming up in your mind? My recommendation: Write these thoughts down, in a journal or on a blank paper, write them all out, until you feel a bit lighter.
   
   
6. Reflect on your life, personal goals, dream(s) and what are the steps to reach it. Yes of course you need to start with baby steps but first you need to be aware of that dream and dare to believe it can come true. Think about something or someone you are grateful for or happy about. What was the best moment of this year so far? What was the worst moment? What was the biggest learning so far? What would you do and where would you be, if you didn’t have any responsibilities? Dare to dream and believe. Write your dream(s) down and read them every day.
   
   
7. Practice meditation or mindfulness by just focusing on the this exact moment, your senses, your feelings, your thoughts, your breath. Inhale and exhale consciously, slowly. Close your eyes, if you like. Meditation does not mean to have nothing in our mind. Our mind is made to be busy and thinking. Meditation means to focus inwards, concentrate, observe your thoughts, let them fly in and out, try to sit still, watch them as if you were in the cinema. The mindfulness part is to not judge these thoughts. Observe and accept them. Whether they are good or bad – they are your thoughts and that’s OK. Just keep focusing. Until you see they might slow down a bit, and a bit more, and a bit more. Try to sit for at least 5 minutes, next time 7 minutes, maybe next time 10 minutes etc. (More insights: https://littlehealthyhabits.com/what-is-mindfulness-and-how-to-put-it-into-practice/).

To sum up: I can only hope this inspires you to block some “me-time” and that your friends and family are comprehensive. It doesn’t have to be a full day or afternoon. Especially if you have kids, I know this is challenging. Start with 15 minutes. A breakfast or cup of something by yourself, looking out of the window, before everyone else wakes up (if you share your home). Or a bit of time for your creativeness and spirit, in the evening, before going to bed.
You have the time. And most importantly: You can learn to enjoy your own company.
How did it go? What other activity(ies) did you do? Let me know your thoughts and comments.