How to stop overthinking?

Whether this is about something that already happened or where you are still in the decision phase: Here are some of my reflections and ideas to stop overthinking.

A little reflection
First of all: We are human beings who feel. We process emotions through our body and we have a feeling before we actually start thinking. In nowadays’ world where we often disconnect from our body, where we try to put an intellectual definition to way too many things: it’s not easy to have that space to feel. Especially at the workplace or around other people.
Secondly: We need time for our thoughts. In general. We don’t give ourselves enough time to reflect. In our work schedules, we sometimes go from task to task, from meeting to meeting, etc. without allowing enough time to reflect on what was just said, what ideas are coming to my mind right now. We write it quickly down on a piece of paper or a note in our laptop to go back to it later, when it’s not as fresh anymore.
I don’t want to lead you to any conclusion right now. This is just a little reflection on what I’ve experienced for myself, hear and see.

Ideas to stop overthinking

1. Feel it
   Easier said than done, I know. But it’s so important to feel, to accept the emotion and trust your body that it will regulate itself. If you have the space. Example: If you are sad, let your body feel it all and cry. Cry as long as you need. Let it all out. It’s really soothing, it’s necessary and it’s human. If you start the “thinking spiral” and go: “I’m actually feeling sad but right now I don’t want to cry so I will keep it together and just keep thinking about it”, it’s always worse. Always. I know there are some situations, eg. if you are not at home, where it’s harder to let out the emotion. But you can find a bathroom, you can get out of the office and take a walk… You are human and you feel it anyway, whether you let it out or not.
   
2. Move your body
   No matter whether you think about something in the past or future: Moving and connecting to your body usually helps to “get away from the mind for a moment”. If you are in the office: Move your shoulders, move your neck in circles, massage your face with your hands, interlace your fingers and hold your hands together – connect to your body. If you can: Take a walk in a park and connect to nature. Or do a little breathing exercise: Close your eyes, breathe slowly and count inhalations and exhalations. See how they get longer and longer, keep counting. If you are at home or at the gym: Do whatever (sport) practice you usually do that helps you. On some days I love to jump around or put music on and dance. Dancing is a great practice to literally “shake off” what’s in your mind.
   
3. Come back to the present moment
   Overthinking always has to do with something in the past or the future. “We never have negative thoughts in/about the present moment, in the present there are only positive thoughts.”, I heard Mo Gawdat once say in a podcast. This is exactly what yoga and mindfulness teach us (more insights: mindfulness): Where are you right now? What are you wearing? Who is with you? What do you see in front of you? What do you hear? What can you smell? When you focus on these things – and ONLY on these things – you come out of that mental spiral, at least for a moment.
   
4. Experiment
   The other day I heard a very inspiring talk by Steven Bartlett (entrepreneur and host of the podcast “The Diary of a CEO”) and he said something like: “Experimenting is always better than thinking about it too long. I won’t lose my time sitting in a room playing out all the possible results in my mind. I prefer to experiment, try it and learn from it.” I couldn’t agree more. How often do we think about all the alternatives and everything that could possibly go well and wrong? How much time do we lose with that? It doesn’t matter whether it’s about a personal or professional topic. I’ve personally lost a lot of time in the past thinking about the outcome and I’m becoming more and more experimental. Whatever happens – it’s a learning.
   
5. Write
   I personally love to write. I take my journal and a pen and I write down my thoughts, my worries, frustrations, I write down whatever comes to my mind. While I write down what I’m thinking about and what stresses me, my mind calms down, and often it soothes itself. Often, I end up writing down positive things that came out of that situation. And then I suddenly feel good, and I ask myself: Why was I worrying about it so much?
   I find these reflections helpful:
   • When I look at my whole life, on a scale from 1-10, how much weight/contribution has this situation to it? What’s the level of importance?
   • Is there something I can do to improve the situation right now? Do I have the resources to improve it? Can I ask someone for help?
   • How many days of my life will I let this situation affect me?
   • What is working well? What/who am I truly grateful for in this specific moment?

To sum up with a last reflection of my personal experience: Overthinking usually comes from wanting to control (the outcome of) a situation that I can’t control. I think I can control it and I’m putting all my mental effort into it, but nothing changes. This is when I do one of the things, or a combination of different activities, of the list mentioned above. And yes: Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. But it’s also one of the most beautiful things. Refocusing your energy and doing something for yourself instead of trying to solve the unsolvable: It’s like taking off the backpack from your back.

What are your thoughts on this? What are favourite activities to stop overthinking?