One Person, One Life: Embracing Humanity At Work

In this society we love to talk about “work-life balance”. I’ve put it in a quotation mark on purpose. Because life doesn’t pause between meetings and deadlines. And we don’t stop thinking about work the second we leave the office. What does this mean for organizations and employees?

Having worked with +40 organizations facilitating programs where people have really opened up – and looking at my own life and topics – today I feel this reflection and article is more urgent than ever: We need to acknowledge that, as human being, we are one person with one brain with one body and one life. What we experience, impacts us holistically – and often in more than one area.

We somehow still believe that we can “shake off” our personal topics the moment we enter the office door – and maybe, for a while we do. But, at least unconsciously, what happens at home impacts how we act, communicate and even feel at work. A lot of people are not aware, they try to be extremely focused and “have it together”. Some call this: to be professional. To me, professionalism is about competences and integrity, work ethic, commitments and trying to improve our skills. But this doesn’t have to do anything with leaving all emotions aside. In fact, it’s not possible. Our emotions move us. And, at some point, they surface – often in situations we don’t want them to. That’s why it’s so important to learn about our emotions. (You can find more details on my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/littlehealthyhabits_foryou/.)

If you know my work you’ll know there are techniques and activities I find extremely helpful (movement, laughing, mindfulness, writing, meditation, …) and concentration and focus during our professional tasks are crucial – we also need a “break” from our personal topics sometimes. Working can actually really help with that. Even in a case of depression, it can be recommended to keep working (this has to be determined by the doctor), because having a daily schedule and being in a different environment – that is aware and supportive – can improve our wellbeing. But here is the important part: In an environment that is aware and supportive.

And here I want to be very clear: How can environments, organizations and people be aware and supportive? When they know.

The majority of us are neither magicians nor can we read other people’s minds. So yes, asking is important: “How are you today?” But still, not every day there is enough space to have a profound conversation, if I don’t know the other person needs it. What I’ve learnt over the years in my corporate career and confirm with every team: We have to speak up when we need support. If I have a bad day or something happened at home that really impacts me, then I have the chance to say to my leader or colleague or mentor (or even client or who I think needs to know): “I need to talk to you. Something happened.” If I don’t do that, how would he/she know? How could they support me?

This is something Mel Robbins makes incredibly clear in her “Let Them” theory. “Let others act the way they do”. “Let others think what they want.” But also – important: “Let me decide how to show up, with integrity and consistency.” “Let me ask for what I need.” I will leave you one of her videos so you can listen to it from her directly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1orPqt6Wr0.

Following this theory and from my experience, I would summarize: Leaders and organizations are responsible to provide the support, tools and environment so people have a chance to be well at work. This means to provide the space where people feel safe enough to speak up. Teams and employees are responsible though to communicate honestly, to take ownership of commitments, and ask for support when personal challenges start affecting work.

Over the last weeks I’ve talked to several Managers who – after years of not sharing almost anything about their personal life – have started to open up a bit more to their teams. And the results where beautiful, they’ve told me about the impact this had on the team, their connection with them and even performance. And they’ve told me how much pressure it took off them. I had this experience myself in 2021 when I was a people leader for the first time and – going through a very difficult, personal moment – I shared honestly with my team that I was seeing a psychologist and that I might need support with some projects at work. Both my leaders and team were incredibly supportive and also started sharing more. It created a space for everyone to be honest, vulnerable and human. And no, our results didn’t drop – exactly the other way around. Humanity improves performance – at least from both my personal and my clients’ experience.

What I’ve shared is also valid the other way around: When work affects us – in a period of a lot of stress / intensity, after a difficult conversation, a bad day, feedback or similar – it is important to share this with our close circle, our family and friends. Yes, we all have our personal problems and yes I know, many people don’t want to “drop more weight on anyone else”. But it’s actually not like that at all. When we share honestly, other people start to open up and this creates a space where we confirm “I’m not in this alone. I’m not the only one struggling.” THIS is what we need, in EVERY environment, at work and at home. This is what improves our immune system, resilience, wellbeing. It’s humanity and prevention at its core. We all can (and I think should) contribute to that.